Markie Posts

Apparently, when Jen Garner showed up for the GQ Men of the Year Awards a bunch of horribly miserable toothpaste, margarita, and jizz vomiters - and when I say toothpaste, margarita, and jizz vomiters, I’m referring to whores like these three Patron Saints of Skank:


Britney, Lindsay and Paris: The Three Disgraces c/o Gallery of the Absurb

- made notice of Garner weight gain and speculated that she must be preggers with Affleck spawn. Feeling the need to extinguish rumors, Garner released this statement:

“No, everyone calm down. Nobody’s pregnant. I am as physically unfit as I’ve probably been in my whole life. It’s such a horror in front of the mirror with no clothes on.”

…………………AwWwWwWww, poor Jen, you’re so fat, like a bean bag.


One cup of deep fried fat, please, so I can feed my cottage cheese face. Quick! Feed it before it eats my lucky hat!

If you don’t get this, go here, then you will, and it will make you feel special.