Markie Posts

Party time for Paris

As many bitchy internet-savvy bitches have already known for a few weeks, Paris Hilton’s personal life has been leaked yet again like a busted STD boil. ParisExposed.com - where for a mere price of $39.99 you can learn that Paris likes to smoke tampons - is a new website the delivers what it promises. To make a really long story short, Paris was moving, put her crap in a storage locker, never paid the bills for the storage space (she assumed someone else would pay for her), the items in the locker were auctioned off to a couple for about 2k and they turned them over to the creator of the website who shelled out about a million bucks for Valtrex prescription slips, loves notes, and tons of pictures of Pairs naked. If you’re a cheap ass like me and feel that maybe Paris has something to do with this leak (she obviously loves money and any kind of attention) and that she’s somehow profiting from this mess, you can just watch a sleazy montage put together by the site for free here

OoOoOOrRrR you can look at my below discoveries found leaked all over the inter-nets (you know, those series of tubes?).

What I discovered about Pairs:

1) She was clearly inspired in by Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign in her youth:








2) She has beautiful penmanship:





3) Apparently, she lives in Ohio:



4) Nicole Ritchie's appetite isn't the only thing that's numb:



5) Pairs, a natural beauty, always looks fabulous:





6) Nicky Hilton's nose is TOTALLY natural….



7) She loves people of all ethnicities

UPDATES
8) Her alias 'Amber Taylor' had an abortion
IDon'tLikeYouInThatWay.com

9) When Nicole Ritchie cries, Paris and Nicky continue to smile and pose.

Aw, Nicole are you crying because you're a fatty?

10) Uh, I don't even know what to say about this "Mensa Meeting" below:

....except perhaps....."Nicole finally reunites with her biological father"

Thanks Sarah!