Markie Posts

2) Slim Jims are most likely made of road kill and ketchup, but are the perfect snappity snack while sitting in a Mini Cooper on Route 33 with a flat watching locals do smack.

3) Whenever I randomly hear the song “This is the Day” by The The I think a) of the ending scene of Empire Records and b) that it’s some kind of literal sign and that “this is the day your life will surely change” - which has been happening quite a bit lately being that the song is featured in an M&M commercial. And who are you? And why does your life keep changing?

4) Isn’t Drew Barrymore all “ArGH! Drugs are Evil!” ????? Or are we all pretending she wasn't some 10 year-old-coke head now?

And does anyone else think that her two tattoos are too close to one another? She looks askew. And has anyone else noticed that I'm just hating?

5) I am predictable – my boss gave me a small flyer today that said “Thailand’s Turtles in Trouble” because he thought I would find it humorous. And I did.

6) While inebriated you should AT ALL TIMES carry a knife because knifes are funny, not scary, when you’re drunk.

7) I really have very little clue of who Amy Winehouse is, but I can’t wait until her album is released. The below song makes me excited - not in a sexual way - but about the current direction of music:



8) Publix makes exceptionally good tuna salad.

9) I think Freddie Mercury has been reincarnated into this:


And I find it creepy. And I don't know why.

10) Alaina Alexander

a) wears cute clothes
b) most likely uses hair extensions
c) should’ve never followed up an awesome song like “Brass in Pocket” with some overly praised Dixie Chicks crap.
d) Was the first contestant I have ever witnessed crack while trying to fulfill that cruel tradition of singing a final song after America (or tween girls, bored housewives, and catty gay men) has booted them off the show. I knew this day would someday come, and it has, and it is wonderful. We should make it a bank holiday.

11) A Cajun Sunrise is not a fabulous tropical drink, but a rose.

12) The craptacular movie Tristan and Isolde will only make you cry if you're just getting out of a really long and confusing relationship. And you will only be embarrassed by your emotional display if it's 2 am on a Friday night and you're alone in your parents' house.

13) I think that this large redneck who works in an Ohio gas station lied when he said the state of Ohio does not accept passports as a valid form of identification when buying alcohol or tobacco. This makes absolutely no sense. And I plan to further investigate this matter next time I do research about tobacco in the state of Ohio...which, unfortunately, happens often.

14) My second cousin - who I have never met and I assume may be a lesbian because she's on a women's rugby team - just joined the Peace Corp and is assigned in an African country that's mostly Muslim. She's going to educate people about women’s' rights and how they should be educated past the eighth grade. And I'm jealous because that has more substance than anything I currently do with my own life.

15) I wonder if My Morning Jacket actually wears masks during all live performances...

16) The customer service staff at American Airlines are really great, espeically when you have a nervous breakdown.