Wednesday, March 07, 2007
1) Harry Smooth
....has to be the coolest name I have ever read on a tobacco license EVER.
2) This guy at my work - no, not a guy, a man, he’s not in his 20’s or anything, he’s knocking at 40 - has decided to sacrifice shoes for Lent. He’s been walking around barefoot for the past week and now someone’s bet him to do it until August. I’m wondering how he hasn’t caught tape worm yet.
3) I did not draw this picture, but find it amusing on multiple levels:
4) Do butt plugs give guys hard on’s?
5) If you know me, you know I’ve been on the hunt for a full time writing job for quite a while and have a daily habit of applying for approximately 847595739457 jobs that I know I’m way too inexperienced for, but apply nonetheless. Well, today I was feeling kind of loopy and here’s the result of writing probably my 80th cover letter in a row:
Hi,
My name is Xxxxx Xxxxxxx and I am a brilliant freelance writer from Miami, FL who is disgusted by perfect weather and yearns to see leafs change color. The mere fact that I’m a freelancer is proof that I’m self-motivated being that on top of driving all around the tip of our nation’s geographic “wang” to scrape up interesting stories for possible publication; I also work a 40-hour week in order to secure the payment of many chunky bills. I also write my own blog in which I taught myself basic HTML code.
Although I feel that I fulfill all the necessary qualifications in order to apply for this job, I must confess that I do not think outside the box but prefer to think outside of the cube or the trapezoid in order to have much more complex and three-dimensional ideas. I also do not have a sense of humor. What so ever.
Attached, as requested, is my resume and below you will find THREE, not ten, links to articles I feel portray my writing style.
I hope to hear back from you soon,
…do you think I’m going to get a response, cause I sure don’t.
6) I’ve been watching Futurama on Adult Swim as somewhat of an entertainment appetizer for Family Guy since my senior year of college, and almost every time I watch it, it’s an episode I’ve never seen before. What’s up? Wasn’t the show on FOX for maybe a season or two? Or are they making new episodes specifically for Adult Swim? I know, I know, it’s a profound question…
7) I’ve only read 20 pages of White Noise by Don DeLillo and it’s already awesome.
8) Stuffed grape leafs (or dolma, yes I know the traditional name because I’m cool like that) aren’t shit without tzatziki.
9) I ran into someone today that I knew, but I couldn’t remember his name. I kept on wanting to call him Sideshow Bob, though.
10) I still have a bungee cord holding my bumper in place…
2) This guy at my work - no, not a guy, a man, he’s not in his 20’s or anything, he’s knocking at 40 - has decided to sacrifice shoes for Lent. He’s been walking around barefoot for the past week and now someone’s bet him to do it until August. I’m wondering how he hasn’t caught tape worm yet.
3) I did not draw this picture, but find it amusing on multiple levels:
4) Do butt plugs give guys hard on’s?5) If you know me, you know I’ve been on the hunt for a full time writing job for quite a while and have a daily habit of applying for approximately 847595739457 jobs that I know I’m way too inexperienced for, but apply nonetheless. Well, today I was feeling kind of loopy and here’s the result of writing probably my 80th cover letter in a row:
Hi,
My name is Xxxxx Xxxxxxx and I am a brilliant freelance writer from Miami, FL who is disgusted by perfect weather and yearns to see leafs change color. The mere fact that I’m a freelancer is proof that I’m self-motivated being that on top of driving all around the tip of our nation’s geographic “wang” to scrape up interesting stories for possible publication; I also work a 40-hour week in order to secure the payment of many chunky bills. I also write my own blog in which I taught myself basic HTML code.
Although I feel that I fulfill all the necessary qualifications in order to apply for this job, I must confess that I do not think outside the box but prefer to think outside of the cube or the trapezoid in order to have much more complex and three-dimensional ideas. I also do not have a sense of humor. What so ever.
Attached, as requested, is my resume and below you will find THREE, not ten, links to articles I feel portray my writing style.
I hope to hear back from you soon,
…do you think I’m going to get a response, cause I sure don’t.
6) I’ve been watching Futurama on Adult Swim as somewhat of an entertainment appetizer for Family Guy since my senior year of college, and almost every time I watch it, it’s an episode I’ve never seen before. What’s up? Wasn’t the show on FOX for maybe a season or two? Or are they making new episodes specifically for Adult Swim? I know, I know, it’s a profound question…
7) I’ve only read 20 pages of White Noise by Don DeLillo and it’s already awesome.
8) Stuffed grape leafs (or dolma, yes I know the traditional name because I’m cool like that) aren’t shit without tzatziki.
9) I ran into someone today that I knew, but I couldn’t remember his name. I kept on wanting to call him Sideshow Bob, though.
10) I still have a bungee cord holding my bumper in place…
// posted by Whoreese @ 5:29 PM 
Comments:
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are u asking if the sight of them give hard ons, the use on the male gives a hard on, or watching/using one on a female or another male gives a hard on?
I think that cover letter will get you a reply, unless they are offended by the word wang.
I think that cover letter will get you a reply, unless they are offended by the word wang.
# posted by 
: 2:03 PM
: 2:03 PM
Well....it's just based on something Dustin emailed to me...which I didn't get, but I'm wondering when a guy inserts it into his ass, does he get a hard on? It's very cryptic.
Haven't gotten a response. No one wants me to work for them. I'm going to be a secretary THE REST OF MY LIFE.
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Haven't gotten a response. No one wants me to work for them. I'm going to be a secretary THE REST OF MY LIFE.
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