Friday, March 30, 2007
Paris - You are truly a fart in a mitten
A couple of weeks ago I posted a link to a picture – Cee-Lo’s dick in Paris Hilton’s hand – that has been burned so deeply into my brain that I may need the hypnotic aid of the Mad Russian to erase this traumatic event from my consciousness.
Seriously.
Whenever I hear the song “Crazy” I become all Being John Malcovitch-Cee-Lo style, and all I can see is my big, black, hand stroking yellow-ish Fraggle weave as I sing "Ha-ha-ha bless your soul". Then one of Paris’ fake blue contacts pops out and lands on the tip of my dick. And then I jizz in it, put a .45-caliber up to her head, and tell her to eat it. And then she does. And then I shoot her. And dance in her blood.
Okay, none of that past the yellow-ish Fraggle weave is really true, but it is true that I am scarred, perhaps for life.
So, thanks Paris, now whenever I get over this whole nun/Girl Scout/a-sexual Smurf stage of abstinence that I’m going through at the moment, I’m never going to be able to go downtown ever again.
Because of this, I’ve decided to give you the coveted title of the “Hello Kitty Douche Bag for the Month of March”. Wear your crown with pride.
Seriously.
Whenever I hear the song “Crazy” I become all Being John Malcovitch-Cee-Lo style, and all I can see is my big, black, hand stroking yellow-ish Fraggle weave as I sing "Ha-ha-ha bless your soul". Then one of Paris’ fake blue contacts pops out and lands on the tip of my dick. And then I jizz in it, put a .45-caliber up to her head, and tell her to eat it. And then she does. And then I shoot her. And dance in her blood.
Okay, none of that past the yellow-ish Fraggle weave is really true, but it is true that I am scarred, perhaps for life.
So, thanks Paris, now whenever I get over this whole nun/Girl Scout/a-sexual Smurf stage of abstinence that I’m going through at the moment, I’m never going to be able to go downtown ever again.
Because of this, I’ve decided to give you the coveted title of the “Hello Kitty Douche Bag for the Month of March”. Wear your crown with pride.
// posted by Whoreese @ 11:45 AM 
